[REVIEW] Honest Hearts (Fallout New Vegas DLC, Xbox 360)

Wow, doesn't time fly when you're up to your eyes in other stuff... Before I whizz off to York for a week-long intensive uni project, I thought I'd spend a few minutes telling you all about Honest Hearts, the second downloadable content pack for Fallout New Vegas. After getting woefully and embarrassingly stuck somewhere in the Sierra Madre in Dead Money, I was a little apprehensive about going back to a previous save and starting this one, in case FNV had suddenly got really hard in the few months I hadn't played it.

My fears were put to rest just a few minutes in. Although the baddies in this particular area (above the top edge of the map, it is mentioned that you are headed towards Utah.) are armed to the teeth with submachine guns, they wear little to no armour as they are based on a kind of alternate reality wasteland tribal group. Which makes the removal of their heads from a distance all the easier. I found the story to be quite engaging - without trying to give too much away, this is the story of Joshua Graham, also known as The Burned Man, who is mentioned during the main quest plotlines as an associate of Caesar who turned against him. This is his story, and what he's been up to all this time in exile in the Zion National Park.

Now onto the good stuff - the new perks, items, and so on. The level cap has been raised by 5 again, so I can try and get myself closer to wiping out those Deathclaws at Quarry Junction (anyone got any tips? Seriously, I'm desperate here.) New perks have been added, such as the delightful Eye For An Eye (10% extra damage for each crippled limb you have) and Fight The Power! which gives bonuses against any authoritative figures in uniform such as NCR, Legion and Brotherhood of Steel. There are also new items and recipes, mostly based around the datura plant, known for it's use as a poison, a hallucinogenic and a general nasty piece of work.

All in all, I enjoyed this DLC very much. The scenery was beautiful, and there was even rain, for the first time! (Can't vouch for it's acidity, though.) The plot was good, and kept me entertained for a good 4-6 hours which in my opinion is SUPERB value for money, especially considering some games *cough*Bulletstorm*cough* are rumoured to last only 8-10 hours. Next on the agenda, Old World Blues!

For keeping me entertained and helping me procrastinate over my uni work, a solid 4/5!

[THINGS I LOVE] Top Five: Video Game Robots

Throughout the world of video games we often encounter our good old friend, the robot. Whether they are the protagonist, the enemy, or the hired help, the little blighters pop up everywhere, so in tribute to our metallic pals, here is a run down of my top five favourite robots.

5. Big Daddy (Bioshock): These docile behemoths aren't technically robots, but the genetically spliced cyborg chaps inside the huge diving suits are pretty cool. Mild mannered and gentle, they go about their business of protecting the Little Sisters while they go about their messy business of havesting the valuable goop known as ADAM from corpses. Nice. And your job? To either kill or set free the Little Sisters? Be prepared for some angry Big Daddies!

4. The Sackbots (Little Big Planet 2): If Big Daddies are the epitome of quietly lurking doom, then the Sackbots from LBP2 are their polar opposite. Cute, quirky and under Sackboy's vague command, they can be herded around like sheep or attracted with a lady known as Luscious Lucy. (Googling this turns up a selection of, ahem, businesswomen in the centre of London. Add additional search terms!) These robots are a LOT more friendly, but to be honest? A bit useless!

3. Wadsworth (Fallout 3): I often think to myself, how cool would it be to have a robot butler of my very own? That's just what Wadsworth is, a water-dispensing, wisecracking mobile hairdressing unit, and anyone who knows me well knows that I could really do with one. The Mr Handy units, however, were not well renowned for their precision with that circular saw blade, so I'll keep cutting my fringe myself, thank you!

2. Atlas and P-Body (Portal 2): These two robots are a perfect metaphor for my relationship with my darling other half. The one of us is tall and athletic, the other shorter, rounder and blue. My personal insecurities aside, Atlas and P-body's purpose in life is to live together, work together and test together for the rest of their lives. The harmony of their existance is further bolstered by the fact that they don't eat (no arguing about who's cooking tea), they don't sleep (no arguing about who's hogging the quilt) and Atlas has no bum to speak of, therefore by definition it cannot "look big in this". Perfect.

1. Claptrap (Borderlands): While Atlas and P-body both have the option to dance as part of the gestures menu, this fella likes to get down and funky entirely of his own accord. Generally in need of a bit of love and attention when you come across them, once they're up and repaired they'll strut their funky stuff for you quite happily! Go on, check him out in this video! Okay so maybe he's not the most USEFUL robot, maybe he doesn't have the best skills, besides giving you a few extra backpack slots but check out that rhythm! That personality! What a star!

So, who's your favourite robot and why?  

[SNIPPETS] A round-up of February's activity.

Seems like real life's been keeping me busy for the past couple of weeks, not giving me an awful lot of time to get stuck into as many games as I'd like. In spite of that, here are a few snippets that kept me amused throughout the month:

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Would you let this tit anywhere near your car? I mean, seriously, look at him. Tim Westwood is, at 53 years of age, old enough to be my father. Whilst my own father (and many of your fathers, I suspect) is prone to bouts of daft behaviour, none have lasted as long as Westwood's delusion that he is some kind of "gangsta". I will not dispute the fact that the man has an unmatchable love for hiphop and rap music, nor the good work that he has done in bringing this to the people of the UK (for 25 years, no less!) but if he came anywhere near my car I'd go spare. Just as well then, that he doesn't feature whatsoever in Pimp My Ride DS, a game which was bought for me as a joke present by my lovely husband.

It is widely known in gaming circles that the Pimp My Ride game on the 360 is a massive pile of gash, and I expected no less from the DS version. Amusingly enough, however, I've found it strangely addictive, and keep popping it into my DS every now and again for a quick race. The massive downside to this game - can't be played for more than 20 minutes at a time, as it makes my eyeballs feel like they're about to bleed from the badly animated backgrounds. But hey ho! Not bad for £1.39!

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Oh dear, speaking of let-down games, I picked up a copy of Venetica on the 360 having read some crap reviews of how the graphics are appalling, but the game oddly charming. (For those wondering, yes, I AM some kind of masochist.) The story is cute, "orphan" girl's village is attacked by supernatural fellas, foster family reveals girl is Death's daughter, Death is in trouble, daughter must come to Daddy's aid. There were two major factors in me not giving this game a fair chance. The first was the fact that I had a migraine coming on, the second (which exacerbated the first point somewhat) is that this game is CLUNKY. The graphics, the controls, the menu system, all of it. At this point, I made a sad noise, gave up and went to bed. :(

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Other things that have kept me occupied this month:

Little Big Planet 2 multiplayer - Finally rediscovered the joy of 4-player 1-screen gaming. Even though I was the Sack Thing that died/got stuck/got left behind the most I found it exciting and not too frustrating. Not that I'd deliberately suicide myself at the difficult bits and wait to respawn at the next point when my chums had got there or anything...

Fallout New Vegas: Dead Money - After adding 8 levels to my character and summoning up the balls to finally go for it, I descended on the Sierra Madre. Yep, I'm still finding it pretty terrifying, but a new challenge as resources are limited for the first time in the game. Finding myself relying on my Unarmed skill, which I've never really used before.

Looking forward to the new Pokemon - By this time next week, it'll be in my sweaty little hands. Who will I choose as my starter pokemon? How will it compare with the other games? And how the hell will I get 300+ pokemon off my other carts onto this one? The fun and games, they begin again. *sigh*

[Things I Love] TOP FIVE: Video Game Weapons

All of my top five weapons are guns. This is because I am, quite frankly, a wussy little girl, and prefer to dispatch my enemies from afar, so melee weapons are out of the question. Items such as The Legend of Zelda's Hookshot, an item which can potentially bring a FAR AWAY enemy right UP TO YOUR FACE are not among my preferred arsenal. Having said that, there are some cool weapons for getting up close and personal.

5. The Lancer (Gears of War 2)

I've never really been a fan of the Gears of War series, so I'm not really in a position to comment on the efficacy of this particular weapon, although I've been told that the gun bit is quite gunny, and the chainsaw bit is quite messy and an AWFUL lot of fun. The main reason I have included this gun in my Top Five is due to the (quite frankly) EPIC special edition preorder gift. Yes, THAT (image pinched from Google) is a full size, gold painted replica Lancer. It takes several size C batteries, and for that you get a sort of squeaky chainsaw sound - and that's all! Retailing at around £130, this was one for the serious collectors and the nutjobs.

4. Alien Blaster (Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas)

Oh, the good old Alien Blaster. The gun you find, carry around for weeks but never actually use, due to the finite amount of ammo in the world, this gun only ever gets used in the context of "Hey, look at this! I found a gun that vaporises people!"

Shame really.

3. Sniper Trifle (Little Big Planet 2)

Firstly, I dare you to do a Google image search on the terms "cake gun". Remind yourself of all the strange people out there. What I was looking for, of course, was Sackboy's hat which fires cakes. (Logical.) I find it hard to believe that people all over the internet are not making a bigger deal of this. A HAT which is a GUN which fires CAKE. Imagine if we had this in other games! The confused look on the Super Mutant's face as he's hit full in the chest with a Battenberg? Taking on the Covenant with Pavlova? What next? Cupcake grenades? I'm going to contemplate that for a little while, brb...

2. The Redeemer (Unreal Tournament)

The Redeemer will always have a special place in my heart. Essentially a miniature nuclear warhead, the Redeemer was pretty much useless to all except the extremely skilled, and the extremely lucky, since anyone within the large blast radius would be obliterated. Particularly special to me was the secondary fire mode, where the player could take control of the warhead and fly it towards its intended target. Whilst in flight mode, the player is standing still, waiting to be picked off wherever you happen to be lying dormant. Genius.

1. The Portal Gun (Portal, obviously.)

There aren't a massive amount of opportunities to use the Portal Gun as a weapon in the game. But think about the opportunities! Secretly firing your blue portal over your enemy's head while he works at his desk, then sneaking outside under pretence of a cigarette break and firing your orange portal under the nearest bus! Likewise, a portal could be fired at the exterior wall of the top floor of a high-rise building, and the corresponding portal at your enemy's feet, and see him fall to a messy death! Also handy for things like:

• Fetching the TV remote
• Moving house
• Moving people you dislike OUT of your house
• Making the walk home from the pub a bit quicker
• Confusing your cat

The list is pretty much endless. If you want to make your very own Portal Gun (non-working, I'm afraid!) I found a selection of tutorials at hacknmod.com.

For the truly nerd-tacular, of course, is the Portal Gun made by the pros...

So there we have it, my top five. And if anyone dares complain that I've left out the Blue Shell from MarioKart, well, I suggest you go get yourself some actual skills before you hide behind a weapon with a guaranteed hit! (I'm not bitter. Not in the slightest.)

What's your favourite in-game weapon? Tell me in the comments!

REVIEW PREVIEW: Fallout New Vegas - Dead Money (DLC) (Xbox 360)

Anyone who knows me personally will be WELL aware of my Fallout obsession. Seriously. Check out my personalised nametags at work, or the selection of Fallout-related tat in my house, or my rather large collection of bottlecaps which I'm saving  up for when the end finally comes. I am quite proud to say that the majority of my 360 gamerscore is made up of achievements from Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas. So obviously, we got the Dead Money DLC as soon as it came out.

Dead Money is the story of a long abandoned casino called the Sierra Madre, outside of the main map of the Mojave Wasteland. Simply getting to the entrance has been a drama so far - I'm approximately halfway through the main storyline and have just pissed off one of the major factions in the game, the Legion. The Dead Money pack raises the level cap to 35, but I don't have to worry about that just yet - level 20 seems like it might be enough to start the additional content.

Upon getting to the entrance, a dialog box pops up warning that you are about to leave the Mojave Wasteland and will not be able to return until the Dead Money story is finished. Fine by me, but I create a fresh savepoint anyway. (A good habit to get into - Who knows how many Deathclaws/Super Mutants/pissed off Legion boys are round the next corner) The dialog also recommends being at least level 20 before proceeding - Fine, says I.

The story begins with a shot of gas to the face, and waking up in front of a rather shifty looking hologram chap, who's fitted you with a collar  a la Battle Royale, which will explode if you're naughty. You're stripped of all your hard earned weapons and gear, told some VERY worrying things about dodgy electrics which might interfere with your collar, and the toxic atmosphere surrounding the Sierra Madre known as the Cloud.  This stern looking chap wants you to head into the old casino, find the treasure, avoid the traps and then everyone can go home and have a nice tea. Only problem is, the aforementioned death lurking at every corner.

First on the agenda - meet up with three other prisoners colleagues who have the same aims in mind, and convince them to join forces with you. At this point, I reloaded my previous save, and ran off to Black Mountain to play with the Muties. I'm not surprised by this one bit, as I found all the DLC for Fallout 3 to be ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING as well - probably due to being removed from the comfort zone and relatively easy life of the Wastes. I'll be levelling up a little more before I give this another go. I need to grow a pair, you say? Nah, I'm just sensible, THAT's what it is...

*curls up into a ball and rocks gently*

Scoring: Well, it's Fallout, so it's hard to imagine I'd give it any less than 4/5. Watch this space!