[THINGS I LOVE] Top Five: Video Game Robots

Throughout the world of video games we often encounter our good old friend, the robot. Whether they are the protagonist, the enemy, or the hired help, the little blighters pop up everywhere, so in tribute to our metallic pals, here is a run down of my top five favourite robots.

5. Big Daddy (Bioshock): These docile behemoths aren't technically robots, but the genetically spliced cyborg chaps inside the huge diving suits are pretty cool. Mild mannered and gentle, they go about their business of protecting the Little Sisters while they go about their messy business of havesting the valuable goop known as ADAM from corpses. Nice. And your job? To either kill or set free the Little Sisters? Be prepared for some angry Big Daddies!

4. The Sackbots (Little Big Planet 2): If Big Daddies are the epitome of quietly lurking doom, then the Sackbots from LBP2 are their polar opposite. Cute, quirky and under Sackboy's vague command, they can be herded around like sheep or attracted with a lady known as Luscious Lucy. (Googling this turns up a selection of, ahem, businesswomen in the centre of London. Add additional search terms!) These robots are a LOT more friendly, but to be honest? A bit useless!

3. Wadsworth (Fallout 3): I often think to myself, how cool would it be to have a robot butler of my very own? That's just what Wadsworth is, a water-dispensing, wisecracking mobile hairdressing unit, and anyone who knows me well knows that I could really do with one. The Mr Handy units, however, were not well renowned for their precision with that circular saw blade, so I'll keep cutting my fringe myself, thank you!

2. Atlas and P-Body (Portal 2): These two robots are a perfect metaphor for my relationship with my darling other half. The one of us is tall and athletic, the other shorter, rounder and blue. My personal insecurities aside, Atlas and P-body's purpose in life is to live together, work together and test together for the rest of their lives. The harmony of their existance is further bolstered by the fact that they don't eat (no arguing about who's cooking tea), they don't sleep (no arguing about who's hogging the quilt) and Atlas has no bum to speak of, therefore by definition it cannot "look big in this". Perfect.

1. Claptrap (Borderlands): While Atlas and P-body both have the option to dance as part of the gestures menu, this fella likes to get down and funky entirely of his own accord. Generally in need of a bit of love and attention when you come across them, once they're up and repaired they'll strut their funky stuff for you quite happily! Go on, check him out in this video! Okay so maybe he's not the most USEFUL robot, maybe he doesn't have the best skills, besides giving you a few extra backpack slots but check out that rhythm! That personality! What a star!

So, who's your favourite robot and why?  

[Things I Love] TOP FIVE: Video Game Weapons

All of my top five weapons are guns. This is because I am, quite frankly, a wussy little girl, and prefer to dispatch my enemies from afar, so melee weapons are out of the question. Items such as The Legend of Zelda's Hookshot, an item which can potentially bring a FAR AWAY enemy right UP TO YOUR FACE are not among my preferred arsenal. Having said that, there are some cool weapons for getting up close and personal.

5. The Lancer (Gears of War 2)

I've never really been a fan of the Gears of War series, so I'm not really in a position to comment on the efficacy of this particular weapon, although I've been told that the gun bit is quite gunny, and the chainsaw bit is quite messy and an AWFUL lot of fun. The main reason I have included this gun in my Top Five is due to the (quite frankly) EPIC special edition preorder gift. Yes, THAT (image pinched from Google) is a full size, gold painted replica Lancer. It takes several size C batteries, and for that you get a sort of squeaky chainsaw sound - and that's all! Retailing at around £130, this was one for the serious collectors and the nutjobs.

4. Alien Blaster (Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas)

Oh, the good old Alien Blaster. The gun you find, carry around for weeks but never actually use, due to the finite amount of ammo in the world, this gun only ever gets used in the context of "Hey, look at this! I found a gun that vaporises people!"

Shame really.

3. Sniper Trifle (Little Big Planet 2)

Firstly, I dare you to do a Google image search on the terms "cake gun". Remind yourself of all the strange people out there. What I was looking for, of course, was Sackboy's hat which fires cakes. (Logical.) I find it hard to believe that people all over the internet are not making a bigger deal of this. A HAT which is a GUN which fires CAKE. Imagine if we had this in other games! The confused look on the Super Mutant's face as he's hit full in the chest with a Battenberg? Taking on the Covenant with Pavlova? What next? Cupcake grenades? I'm going to contemplate that for a little while, brb...

2. The Redeemer (Unreal Tournament)

The Redeemer will always have a special place in my heart. Essentially a miniature nuclear warhead, the Redeemer was pretty much useless to all except the extremely skilled, and the extremely lucky, since anyone within the large blast radius would be obliterated. Particularly special to me was the secondary fire mode, where the player could take control of the warhead and fly it towards its intended target. Whilst in flight mode, the player is standing still, waiting to be picked off wherever you happen to be lying dormant. Genius.

1. The Portal Gun (Portal, obviously.)

There aren't a massive amount of opportunities to use the Portal Gun as a weapon in the game. But think about the opportunities! Secretly firing your blue portal over your enemy's head while he works at his desk, then sneaking outside under pretence of a cigarette break and firing your orange portal under the nearest bus! Likewise, a portal could be fired at the exterior wall of the top floor of a high-rise building, and the corresponding portal at your enemy's feet, and see him fall to a messy death! Also handy for things like:

• Fetching the TV remote
• Moving house
• Moving people you dislike OUT of your house
• Making the walk home from the pub a bit quicker
• Confusing your cat

The list is pretty much endless. If you want to make your very own Portal Gun (non-working, I'm afraid!) I found a selection of tutorials at hacknmod.com.

For the truly nerd-tacular, of course, is the Portal Gun made by the pros...

So there we have it, my top five. And if anyone dares complain that I've left out the Blue Shell from MarioKart, well, I suggest you go get yourself some actual skills before you hide behind a weapon with a guaranteed hit! (I'm not bitter. Not in the slightest.)

What's your favourite in-game weapon? Tell me in the comments!