[SNIPPETS] A round-up of February's activity.

Seems like real life's been keeping me busy for the past couple of weeks, not giving me an awful lot of time to get stuck into as many games as I'd like. In spite of that, here are a few snippets that kept me amused throughout the month:

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Would you let this tit anywhere near your car? I mean, seriously, look at him. Tim Westwood is, at 53 years of age, old enough to be my father. Whilst my own father (and many of your fathers, I suspect) is prone to bouts of daft behaviour, none have lasted as long as Westwood's delusion that he is some kind of "gangsta". I will not dispute the fact that the man has an unmatchable love for hiphop and rap music, nor the good work that he has done in bringing this to the people of the UK (for 25 years, no less!) but if he came anywhere near my car I'd go spare. Just as well then, that he doesn't feature whatsoever in Pimp My Ride DS, a game which was bought for me as a joke present by my lovely husband.

It is widely known in gaming circles that the Pimp My Ride game on the 360 is a massive pile of gash, and I expected no less from the DS version. Amusingly enough, however, I've found it strangely addictive, and keep popping it into my DS every now and again for a quick race. The massive downside to this game - can't be played for more than 20 minutes at a time, as it makes my eyeballs feel like they're about to bleed from the badly animated backgrounds. But hey ho! Not bad for £1.39!

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Oh dear, speaking of let-down games, I picked up a copy of Venetica on the 360 having read some crap reviews of how the graphics are appalling, but the game oddly charming. (For those wondering, yes, I AM some kind of masochist.) The story is cute, "orphan" girl's village is attacked by supernatural fellas, foster family reveals girl is Death's daughter, Death is in trouble, daughter must come to Daddy's aid. There were two major factors in me not giving this game a fair chance. The first was the fact that I had a migraine coming on, the second (which exacerbated the first point somewhat) is that this game is CLUNKY. The graphics, the controls, the menu system, all of it. At this point, I made a sad noise, gave up and went to bed. :(

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Other things that have kept me occupied this month:

Little Big Planet 2 multiplayer - Finally rediscovered the joy of 4-player 1-screen gaming. Even though I was the Sack Thing that died/got stuck/got left behind the most I found it exciting and not too frustrating. Not that I'd deliberately suicide myself at the difficult bits and wait to respawn at the next point when my chums had got there or anything...

Fallout New Vegas: Dead Money - After adding 8 levels to my character and summoning up the balls to finally go for it, I descended on the Sierra Madre. Yep, I'm still finding it pretty terrifying, but a new challenge as resources are limited for the first time in the game. Finding myself relying on my Unarmed skill, which I've never really used before.

Looking forward to the new Pokemon - By this time next week, it'll be in my sweaty little hands. Who will I choose as my starter pokemon? How will it compare with the other games? And how the hell will I get 300+ pokemon off my other carts onto this one? The fun and games, they begin again. *sigh*

[Things I Love] TOP FIVE: Video Game Weapons

All of my top five weapons are guns. This is because I am, quite frankly, a wussy little girl, and prefer to dispatch my enemies from afar, so melee weapons are out of the question. Items such as The Legend of Zelda's Hookshot, an item which can potentially bring a FAR AWAY enemy right UP TO YOUR FACE are not among my preferred arsenal. Having said that, there are some cool weapons for getting up close and personal.

5. The Lancer (Gears of War 2)

I've never really been a fan of the Gears of War series, so I'm not really in a position to comment on the efficacy of this particular weapon, although I've been told that the gun bit is quite gunny, and the chainsaw bit is quite messy and an AWFUL lot of fun. The main reason I have included this gun in my Top Five is due to the (quite frankly) EPIC special edition preorder gift. Yes, THAT (image pinched from Google) is a full size, gold painted replica Lancer. It takes several size C batteries, and for that you get a sort of squeaky chainsaw sound - and that's all! Retailing at around £130, this was one for the serious collectors and the nutjobs.

4. Alien Blaster (Fallout 3, Fallout New Vegas)

Oh, the good old Alien Blaster. The gun you find, carry around for weeks but never actually use, due to the finite amount of ammo in the world, this gun only ever gets used in the context of "Hey, look at this! I found a gun that vaporises people!"

Shame really.

3. Sniper Trifle (Little Big Planet 2)

Firstly, I dare you to do a Google image search on the terms "cake gun". Remind yourself of all the strange people out there. What I was looking for, of course, was Sackboy's hat which fires cakes. (Logical.) I find it hard to believe that people all over the internet are not making a bigger deal of this. A HAT which is a GUN which fires CAKE. Imagine if we had this in other games! The confused look on the Super Mutant's face as he's hit full in the chest with a Battenberg? Taking on the Covenant with Pavlova? What next? Cupcake grenades? I'm going to contemplate that for a little while, brb...

2. The Redeemer (Unreal Tournament)

The Redeemer will always have a special place in my heart. Essentially a miniature nuclear warhead, the Redeemer was pretty much useless to all except the extremely skilled, and the extremely lucky, since anyone within the large blast radius would be obliterated. Particularly special to me was the secondary fire mode, where the player could take control of the warhead and fly it towards its intended target. Whilst in flight mode, the player is standing still, waiting to be picked off wherever you happen to be lying dormant. Genius.

1. The Portal Gun (Portal, obviously.)

There aren't a massive amount of opportunities to use the Portal Gun as a weapon in the game. But think about the opportunities! Secretly firing your blue portal over your enemy's head while he works at his desk, then sneaking outside under pretence of a cigarette break and firing your orange portal under the nearest bus! Likewise, a portal could be fired at the exterior wall of the top floor of a high-rise building, and the corresponding portal at your enemy's feet, and see him fall to a messy death! Also handy for things like:

• Fetching the TV remote
• Moving house
• Moving people you dislike OUT of your house
• Making the walk home from the pub a bit quicker
• Confusing your cat

The list is pretty much endless. If you want to make your very own Portal Gun (non-working, I'm afraid!) I found a selection of tutorials at hacknmod.com.

For the truly nerd-tacular, of course, is the Portal Gun made by the pros...

So there we have it, my top five. And if anyone dares complain that I've left out the Blue Shell from MarioKart, well, I suggest you go get yourself some actual skills before you hide behind a weapon with a guaranteed hit! (I'm not bitter. Not in the slightest.)

What's your favourite in-game weapon? Tell me in the comments!

REVIEW: Little Big Planet 2 (PS3)

Little Big Planet 2 was one of my most anticipated games of 2010 despite the fact that I never really played the previous incarnation. It was on my "To Do" list along with other such explosions of cute as Viva Pinata. Vaguely aware of the premise behind the game, a platformer with elements of collecting stuff and customising oneself, I gave up on trying to get around to the first game, and instead put my energy into waiting for the second.

I was not disappointed. The game begins with a short introduction by a certain Mr Stephen Fry, which sets the tone for the rest of the game. This game is Made In Britain, by British People, for British People and Those Who Love Them. Forget your Lara Crofts, your Professor Laytons (and that little gobshite Luke), the characters in LBP2 could beat them all hands down in a tea-sipping contest. The whole tone of the game is incredibly quaint and quirky, without being overly twee or irritating. Expect lots of cakes, steam trains, castles, pigeons and other such icons of Britishness.

Our hero, throughout all this is the wonderful Sack Boy - or as when the player is referred to in the game, Sack Thing. That's the wonderful thing about Sack Boy, he is a blank genderless canvas, and can be dressed up however you like. Costumes and component parts of costumes are collected as you progress through the story mode, and mixing it up a bit is actively encouraged by a prominent "randomise" button. If you want to wear the bellydancer dress with your big clompy boots, a full moustache and a combover, then that is your business. There are a number of preset costumes as well, naturally, although so far I've found them mostly useful for just throwing on when I can't find anything else to wear.

Gameplay-wise, I have to admit I find most platform games infuriating. This is no exception. At times the controls can be a little fiddly - partly down to my own ineptitude and partly to do with the controls being a touch sensitive - the grappling hook is a fine example of where is all goes wrong. Up and down control the length of the grapple, and left and right control the swing, but because it's all controlled with the analog stick, things can get a bit hairy, particularly if you're swinging over electrified doom or lava death. Other than that, there have only been a few honest-to-god screaming fits, both at points in the game which are relatively easy, I have been assured by my colleagues, which kind of implies that it was my own fault.

Speaking of my colleagues, besides the story, the other main focus of this game is the online multiplayer. LBP2 includes some fairly powerful-looking level design tools, including a sequencer to create your own music. While I've not had the time to have a go at designing myself yet, I've had a brief look at a few other peoples, and seen a massive variety - from Fallout 3 inspired levels to crazy science adventures to a game where the aim is to see how long you can run away from a shark across bits of wood floating in the water before he eats you. There is an excellent Daft Punk/Tron level (one of many, I suspect) that shows off the full potential of the sequencer by recreating one of the scores from the Tron Legacy movie almost perfectly. And then there's the Lady Gaga level.

Despite its flaws in the control of your Sack Thing, I could ramble for hours about  how much I adore this game. Instead, I shall just leave you with a mental image of my Sack Thing. Currently in game I am wearing red boxer shorts, a birthday cake for a top, blue eyeshadow and a long black wig. Oh, and I have flippers on my feet.

Is it wrong that I hope to unlock a Predator costume later in the game?

Scoring: 5/5 - a gorgeous game. So gorgeous I'll even forgive it for the shoddy controls sending me to my firey death on a regular basis.

PREVIEW - Nintendo 3DS



Whatever happened to Catdog? Did it's/their inability to poop cause him/her/it/them to come to a somewhat sticky end? Did one argument go too far, ending in a fatal argument? Are they living in retirement in Mallorca, celebrating a successful TV career by the pool with a chilled Margarita at each end? (No, I've not been smoking - I've just woken up. Feels similar.)

Why the fuss about Catdog? Was just an amusing thought I had when I found out that one of the launch games for the Nintendo 3DS would be Nintendogs + Cats. Having never played the original Nintendogs, I have put myself at a good advantage over other gamers who may already be sick of the feed/bath/frisbee/repeat routine, as by all accounts, there's nothing groundbreakingly new here, apart from the cats, who seem to be tweaked dog AI wrapped in a cat skin. Can you imagine a realistic cat sim? "Here Tiddles!" *no response* "Fetch!" *no response* "Go away Tiddles, I'm doing something important!" *sits squarely on laptop keyboard, looks smug* Cats with pure and accurate cat AI = no goddamn fun at all.

So yeah, anyway, before I was distracted I was about to mention the Nintendo 3DS, which as of yesterday has a release date for Europe - Friday 25th of March. A price was not released at the press conference, Nintendo stating that retailers could "set their own prices". A quick google search reveals major games retailers such as Game, Gamestation and HMV will be selling the 3DS at £229.99, Play.com at £219.99 and some smaller retailers offering prices as low as £159.99 - unlikely that they will be able to deliver on this price, but only time will tell. Gamesbasement.co.uk has already been caught out by this - This morning, their price has jumped by £60 to the £219.99 price point as more and more retailers put their official prices up. No word from the supermarkets yet, but I would guess that they will be priced around the 219.99 point.

So what of the technical aspects of this new toy that costs more than a brand new 360? Well, it's in 3D, obviously. Thankfully, it's backwards compatible with the DS, since I can't imagine many people being able to afford to buy a whole new catalog of games straight away. The emphasis seems more than ever to be on community, with lots of multiplayer options and a new feature called StreetPass, where your DS can exchange information whilst in sleep mode in your pocket/handbag/whatever with whoever else happens to have a DS in the vicinity. Cue rude greetings galore. This is of course, only going to become a big thing if lots of people have one. (And those people get out and about with them - My DS has sat next to my sofa for probably around the last six months or more.)

Another completely new feature of the 3DS is the news that Nintendo have teamed up with Eurosport and Sky with the idea of bringing 3D sport to the handheld, an idea which has excited The Husband greatly. If this signifies a shift to more of an entertainment system rather than a purebred gaming system, I think this can only be a good thing.

Other sensible new features include a wireless switch on the machine, so you don't have to exit your game to turn it on, a home button that seems to promise some form of multitasking for the machine, a 3D "slider" switch that allows the amount of 3D depth to be adjusted, or turned off completely. There is also an extendable stylus (finally!), the ability to transfer your purchases from your DSi (finally!), an analog control (finally!), and motion control (well, I suppose every other platform's got it now).

All in all, I'm looking forward to the 3DS, despite the seemingly overinflated price - the US gets the 3DS for $249.99, which converts to approximately £160, but the damn things are region locked. I'm not bitter. I'm not, honestly. Well, maybe a little bit quite a lot, really. But I've got five paydays between now and then - Provided I don't need to buy anything for the next sixty-odd days, I should be fine.



REVIEW PREVIEW: Fallout New Vegas - Dead Money (DLC) (Xbox 360)

Anyone who knows me personally will be WELL aware of my Fallout obsession. Seriously. Check out my personalised nametags at work, or the selection of Fallout-related tat in my house, or my rather large collection of bottlecaps which I'm saving  up for when the end finally comes. I am quite proud to say that the majority of my 360 gamerscore is made up of achievements from Fallout 3 and Fallout New Vegas. So obviously, we got the Dead Money DLC as soon as it came out.

Dead Money is the story of a long abandoned casino called the Sierra Madre, outside of the main map of the Mojave Wasteland. Simply getting to the entrance has been a drama so far - I'm approximately halfway through the main storyline and have just pissed off one of the major factions in the game, the Legion. The Dead Money pack raises the level cap to 35, but I don't have to worry about that just yet - level 20 seems like it might be enough to start the additional content.

Upon getting to the entrance, a dialog box pops up warning that you are about to leave the Mojave Wasteland and will not be able to return until the Dead Money story is finished. Fine by me, but I create a fresh savepoint anyway. (A good habit to get into - Who knows how many Deathclaws/Super Mutants/pissed off Legion boys are round the next corner) The dialog also recommends being at least level 20 before proceeding - Fine, says I.

The story begins with a shot of gas to the face, and waking up in front of a rather shifty looking hologram chap, who's fitted you with a collar  a la Battle Royale, which will explode if you're naughty. You're stripped of all your hard earned weapons and gear, told some VERY worrying things about dodgy electrics which might interfere with your collar, and the toxic atmosphere surrounding the Sierra Madre known as the Cloud.  This stern looking chap wants you to head into the old casino, find the treasure, avoid the traps and then everyone can go home and have a nice tea. Only problem is, the aforementioned death lurking at every corner.

First on the agenda - meet up with three other prisoners colleagues who have the same aims in mind, and convince them to join forces with you. At this point, I reloaded my previous save, and ran off to Black Mountain to play with the Muties. I'm not surprised by this one bit, as I found all the DLC for Fallout 3 to be ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING as well - probably due to being removed from the comfort zone and relatively easy life of the Wastes. I'll be levelling up a little more before I give this another go. I need to grow a pair, you say? Nah, I'm just sensible, THAT's what it is...

*curls up into a ball and rocks gently*

Scoring: Well, it's Fallout, so it's hard to imagine I'd give it any less than 4/5. Watch this space!

REVIEW: Blood Drive (PS3)

Blood Drive (PS3)

The box reads: "Welcome to the most ruthless modern-day gladiator arena this world has ever known. This is the entertainment sport for a new age, and you are the franchise player."

In fact, the world's known a few similar entertainment sports in this vein, the most notable being Carmageddon, Twisted Metal and Destruction Derby. Therefore this game looks pretty promising. For those not familiar with the genre, the idea is to compete in a series of events amongst which are Squish Zombie Things, Race To Checkpoints and Smash Shit Up. By being the best at these events, points are earned and trophies won. There are even Bonus Zombies to squish, a variety of weapons with which to cause havoc and a whole host of fun and exciting characters to play as, all with cars/buses/tanks with different attributes to try.

So far, so good, you say, until the countdown to the first stage begins. Around three seconds after this, you will discover that the vehicles handle like a hovercraft on crack. This may be interpreted either way - that the hovercraft itself has been smoking crack, or that you're trying desperately to steer one after sucking down a lungful. (Disclaimer: I have never driven a hovercraft or smoked crack, but it's not hard to imagine how either one of those might go for me) The controls make this game pretty much unplayable, which is such a shame when you see how much hilarity there is to be potentially had.

Fortunately one of the perks of my job means that I'm allowed to borrow games to increase and improve my product knowledge. I must say, I'm really glad I didn't pay for this game!

2/5